The O'Neil Kinesiology College collected statistics globally on women’s fulfillment, showing that women spend significantly more time in unpaid work than do men due to competing demands. A New Zealand women’s survey showed that 40 % felt guilty for focusing on themselves and 77 % spent much of their time trying to make others happy. A US women’s study showed women manage family health care in this order: children, pets, elderly parents, elderly relatives, self.
On Sept 27, 2021, the Wall Street Journal reported a comprehensive new study by McKinsey and Lean, which shows that in the wake of COVID-19, many corporate professional women are stressed and exhausted, and are rethinking what they want, and are not getting, from their work lives.
As professional women, we at one time or another find ourselves stuck. Whether choosing between what we “must” do and what we want to do, or figuring out how to advance in our careers, all while tackling self-sabotage, can be daunting!
Traditional coping methods like self-gratification, rationalizing perceived limitations, seeking advice from others who choose to live in inboxes, settling based on practicalities, giving up under pressure and stressors, or telling yourself that you’ll try again after you’ve taken care of others have grown stale and fruitless.
Let’s face it, these methods have served us not so well by consistently making us last in the equation of our lives; leaving us resigned to misery in order to get by; actually adding less value to others because we’ve failed to value ourselves; and fraught will stress and worry, resulting in illness and,, sometimes, depression.
As a corporate attorney who has experienced these same issues – navigating dual careers in music (passion) and law (dream); from climbing the corporate later, to finding my own personal rainbow, I’ve been there.
I lived in the balance-in boxes until I realized that my existence was a fragmented one Until one day I woke up feeling broken, defeated, and at my place of “not one more day” -- not one more day of feeling incomplete; not one more day of living up to someone else's made-up version of me--of dimming the light inside of me. And that’s when I came to myself, realizing that I really had the best of both worlds; that passion and dream do not have to compete, but that, together, they represent the whole of me. And when I came to myself, I chose to not choose; to no longer live a fragmented existence, but rather, to leverage my strengths and passions to empower myself toward my own definition of success; to be complete; to be whole.
I have flipped the corporate equation for women, starting with the foundation. We must take a new approach to live in our purpose at work and home, without sacrificing our passions…or ourselves.
I work to empower women to step outside the shadows of others’ Versions of you; to debunk the myth that we cannot afford to focus on your own dreams; to impress upon you that making yourself a priority is the best way to add value to others; to mitigate the stress and sense of overwhelm; to cease settling and find yourself in the corporate shuffle.
"Stay tuned for the upcoming "Ten Things" series with practical tips that you can use to change your personal and professional trajectories to live in true purpose without losing yourself.